I was frightened by my grandfather when I was young. He wasn't prone to
outbursts or mean -- he was a very quiet man who bribed me to come near
him with dollar bills. He was often in his chair in front of the TV,
watching baseball or Mass. When he stood, he was tall but hunched. He
moved slowly and his right hand had a tremor. His expression was often
unreadable, somewhere between vacant and haunted. Later in life, more
than 15 years after he passed away, I would learn that he had received
shock treatments for a "psychotic condition." I once asked an aunt if he
had schizophrenia and she almost slapped me. The pain, fear, and shame
of what had happened to him was, and continues to be, too much for his
children to bear.
This weekend I tore through Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family, by Robert Kolker. In one of the early chapters, he describes the "Thorazine
Shuffle", a long-term side effect of a power anti-psychotic drug. I had to stop reading and set
down the book -- Grandpa immediately came to mind. I thought about how annoyed I
could be with his 8 children for not talking with us about what had
happened and our genetic legacy. By the time I finished reading, I understood better that asking them to talk about it was
probably one of the most difficult things I could ask them to do.
My
family is one of many out there similar to the Galvins. This book is an
honest look at what severe mental illness can do to a family.
Schizophrenic conditions do not affect just the individual experiencing
the hallucinations -- the rifts and conflicts that arise are fractal,
and since they're often genetic, pop up in subsequent generations. It's a
lousy inheritance. Hidden Valley Road always keeps in mind that these things are happening to humans who are
loved and who, in spite of the things their illness has caused them to
do and say, are still part of a family who loves them and fights for
their right to live in peace and health.
